“It’s Too Much”

Most of the time, when learning starts to fall apart, it’s not because students are being difficult or don’t care. It’s because they’re overwhelmed. That overload shows up in different ways depending on your role in the school. Students might look like they’re zoning out or getting frustrated. Teachers feel the weight of it while trying to juggle lessons, relationships, and keeping the classroom safe. Leaders contribute to it, even unintentionally, through how they set the pace, decide priorities, and manage expectations.

What’s often missed is that learning time isn’t slipping away because students are unwilling or teachers aren’t capable. It’s slipping away because the emotional and cognitive demands have outgrown what the system can realistically manage. When that happens, learning doesn’t just slow down. It starts to fall apart.

You can see the breakdown in everyday moments. It gets harder to move from one activity to the next. Students can’t stick with tasks as long. Reactions to small problems get way bigger than expected. These are the moments that often get labeled as behavior issues. In reality, they’re usually signs that what we’re asking for doesn’t match what students can handle right then.

Serious or unsafe behaviors still need attention. That part is real. Understanding what’s underneath helps explain why those moments seem to be increasing, and why doubling down on control tends to make them worse. In the classroom, teachers are making fast decisions while trying to hold everything together. Outside the classroom, leaders shape those decisions through pacing, initiative overload, and how much support teachers actually have.

How we respond in those moments matters. A small shift in thinking can completely change the direction. Asking, “What demand is currently beyond their capacity?” instead of “Why isn’t this student engaging?” keeps the moment instructional. It gives teachers their footing. It also gives students a way back into learning without shame.

That kind of question doesn’t surface in a rush. It shows up when there’s space to think. Constant urgency clouds judgment. Pressure builds. Well-meaning plans turn into more weight.

This is where leadership really shows up. Not in pushing harder or faster, but in protecting the room to pause and ask the right questions. Spend more time listening this year. Try fewer things with more focus. Let your team breathe. Sit with questions even if the answers are messy or unclear. The right move might be creating space, paying attention, and testing a few changes to see what actually shifts the experience in the classroom.

Some things will need to go, even the ones that used to work. What worked before may not work now. Conditions have changed. Needs are different. The most honest work is figuring out what still helps and what is just filling space on a calendar or checklist.

This kind of alignment is exactly what Dr. Tom Payzant talked about in his work leading Boston Public Schools. He understood that stability comes from focusing people, time, and energy on what matters most. That kind of clarity doesn’t just make things easier. It helps people hold up under pressure. It’s how real progress lasts.

Sometimes the best alignment comes from realizing you don’t have it all figured out. If someone else is doing something better, go watch. Go learn. Step into another space and take notes like a student again. No one gets bonus points for pretending everything is working perfectly.

I keep thinking about this photo of my grandbaby. That little hand covering his whole face gets me every time. He looks like he’s already over it. Barely a week old and already giving, “I cannot with this today” energy. It’s funny, but it’s also familiar. That same energy is showing up in classrooms and staff rooms every single day.

This isn’t just any baby. He’s mine. He’s part of the reason I care so much about the work we do in schools. One day, he’ll be walking into a classroom and sitting at a desk. He’ll need his teachers to have the energy to teach him. He’ll need the space to be curious, and the safety to mess up and try again. That kind of environment doesn’t happen by accident. It takes leadership that knows when to slow down, clear the noise, and make room for the things that matter most.

Slowing down isn’t a step back. It’s the only way forward that doesn’t take everyone out in the process. When we give ourselves permission to pause, ask better questions, and stop carrying what no longer helps, we make space for real learning to come back.

Also, let’s be honest. If my grandbaby, brand new to the world, is already this overwhelmed, then schools might want to take the hint. The kid’s not wrong.