Front Left Burner Therapy

Tuesday night dinner should include steak because, some nights deserve to be special. Looks fancy, but this was super simple!

By the time I finally wrap up a long day of leading, my head is still buzzing. Conversations replay, and the decisions I had to make linger longer than I want them to. Everyone thinks leadership is about strategy and big vision, but most days it feels like carrying a hundred small things at once. It takes me a while to switch gears.

I’m blessed to work from home, but sometimes that actually makes it harder to be present with my family. My office is just down the hall and is always calling my name. You’d be proud, though. I moved it out of my bedroom this past year, and that alone felt like progress.

I don’t know about you, but I’m always looking for ways to chill. My mind doesn’t do that easily. It likes to keep going and going and going. But I do have one trick I use most days. Cooking. Who would have thought? For me, it’s one of the best ways I’ve found to quiet the noise and ease into the evening.

There’s something about pouring a glass of wine, red, white, or bubbles depending on my mood, and pulling a pan from the cabinet that tells my brain it’s time to shift. The sizzle when the meat hits the heat. The smell of garlic and rosemary waking up in olive oil. It forces me to be present. You can’t rush a good sear. You can’t half pay attention. If you do, dinner lets you know, and the smoke in the house reminds you for days. So I’m forced to get out of my own head and focus. Those nine conversations running in the background of my mind finally quiet down. It’s the best feeling.

Now, I have to be honest, I still get “what’s for dinner” syndrome. Some nights we have cereal because life is busy. Other nights we go out because I’m just exhausted. During my “Mom Uber” days, we had dinner in the car most nights. Now my kids are grown, so those days are behind me, and most evenings we’re home. Sometimes my daughter and my grand babies come by. Some nights my other two daughters take a pause from their busy lives and join us. Most nights it’s just my man and me. I am not a chef by any means, but I have learned to be a pretty darn good cook over the years. I have allowed myself to try and fail, and my family is very forgiving. They put up with my need to constantly try new things.

I never loved meatloaf as a kid so, I was bound to perfect it as an adult! The ultimate comfort food!

Just so we’re clear, I’m not a baker. Some of my closest friends are, and I admire their patience. Baking feels like chemistry. Exact measurements, timers, and precision. After a long day, that would stress me out. I respect it, and I’m happy to eat all the goodies, but it’s not me. I’m a cook. I taste as I go and adjust as I see fit. I add a little more salt if the day feels heavy. A squeeze of lemon if I need something bright, and I never forget the cheese and garlic because those are vitamins for my soul. I rarely follow a recipe exactly. It’s more like I’m having a conversation with it, and dinner each night is unique.

Cooking gives me a sense of control in the best way. After a day where so much depends on other people, the kitchen is simple. Heat, ingredients, timing, and a little love. If something needs more time, I give it more time. If it needs more flavor, I fix it. There’s relief in that. Also, here’s something no one talks about. Why is it that we all have a favorite burner on the stove? Mine is the front left. Every time. What’s yours?

I love a great table and any excuse to go the extra mile. I work hard to make this the center of our home each holiday, not just mid -week.

Then there’s the table. No phones are ever allowed, no work, and no agendas. Just a lot of healthy jokes, laughter, and actually enjoying each other. We all have our seats, which is funny because when a guest sits in “your” spot, it somehow adds a whole layer of adventure to the evening. Plates get passed, and stories overlap. It makes the effort to make dinner more than worth it and is a great reminder of what matters most.

As a workaholic and an entrepreneur, turning it off and being present doesn’t come naturally. It takes effort. It’s funny how something as simple as standing over a stove, chopping onions, or tasting sauce can shift my entire mood. By the time we sit down together, whatever I was carrying earlier has usually softened. Not gone, but lighter.

Some nights its throwing frozen meatballs and making a homemade sauce! Keeping it simple can help keep me sane.

Maybe it’s my Italian roots and my Irish blood, but food was never just food growing up. At the table, it’s how we celebrated, how we apologized, and how we showed love without having to say much. There is nothing like feeding your favorite people, sitting down, and breaking bread together. Most nights, we stay at the table longer than planned, and if another bottle of wine is opened, we may just end up playing some games.

I think that’s what I’m really craving at the end of the day: my people. It’s not just a good meal, but a connection with the people who are always in my corner. The ritual of it and the rhythm comfort me on the hardest days, it seems. It’s a reminder that leadership might fill my calendar, but cooking fills something in my soul. Now dishes… are a whole different story. Most days my family takes over and cleans up making for the perfect end to an often long day.

So to all my fellow leaders, please tell me, what’s your magic trick for unwinding at the end of the day?